everyone is single if you try hard enough
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
