i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
