Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize