Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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