And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
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