Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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