The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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