do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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