Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Drunk is not a location!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
