see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
