no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
