Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
