If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
