Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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