How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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