so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
