i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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