remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Alive.
So much puke
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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