the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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