just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
