You're a womanizer and a bitch.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
