she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize