Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
