If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
