So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
