He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
