watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She even gives head with a lisp.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
