i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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