Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I yelled at your uterus for you.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
