my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i will never coherently bang her
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
