I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
As shirtless as possible
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
