Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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