The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
