So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
