New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize