she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
