do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
