This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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