my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
