I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize