I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Your penis caused this!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
