Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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