oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My balls are so social today.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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