Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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