i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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