Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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