Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
