Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
