when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
