I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
