You're my little dorito
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize