My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
