her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
