i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
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my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
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if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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