matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
