I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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