I CAN MOONWALK!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
