he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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