Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
