420 ftw
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Randomize
