It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
