So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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