super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you will always have a special place in my vag
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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